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True story: In November 2022, during a night of lots of crying, I prayed that God would send me a family. Two days later someone from church asked me on a date. Ten months later, I married said someone. 

I’ve promised you the highs and lows of the past two years, and I’m delighted to say that this is the happy story of how I found my life partner, Shem Fair. 

A God that hears prayers 

“And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.” (Luke 7:13)

A little background behind why I was crying out to God in that November 2022. I haven’t seen my dad since I was three years old, and he passed away in 2020. My mum, at this time, had Stage 4 cancer and it was only so long until she passed away too. Family relations with others were fraught and difficult. It felt like the little family I did have was slipping away. 

And so I cried out to God. I told Him that I was ready now, ready to have my own family. I needed something to look ahead to, everything was feeling very dark. 

I am so thankful for the power of prayer. God doesn’t always answer prayer in the way that we expect but He always listens. He is our refuge, an ever-present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46). 

But this time, He did answer my prayer – quite quickly and quite miraculously. Within two days of this emotional, late night scene, Shem asked me out on a date. 

Feeling like an Israelite 

Now, you’d think that after the prayer I’d prayed, I would have been very happy about all of this. Well actually, it sent me into a bit of a mini-break down. I didn’t know what to do and it all seemed rather scary. 

I did like Shem, very much. We’d grown closer and become quite good friends, often spending most of our Sundays together. I was happy about his request to get to know each other better, and yet I still felt fear. 

I reminded myself of the Israelites in the Old Testament. God had just freed them from being poorly-treated slaves in Egypt (you may be familiar with the story), and they were wandering in the desert on their way to the Promised Land. 

In Exodus 16:3, the Israelites complained, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted.”

So what did God do? He rained down bread (manna) from heaven to feed His people. But the Israelites still weren’t happy, in Numbers 11:4-6 they cried out, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic.”

Although God was hearing and answering their prayers, the Israelites were still miserable and distrusting of God! This is a bit of a digression, I know, but I wanted to just highlight that sometimes when God is answering our prayers, we don’t always notice it. It’s our natural instinct to run in fear or complain, rather than stand firm and trust in Him. 

A Timeline of Shem 

The following days after Shem’s proposition, I spent time praying around making the right decision. I had just prayed for a family, and the timing of his asking felt very apt. But I didn’t want to get too carried away. I decided that whether Shem would be the one I married or not, it was good to take that first step and go on a date with him.

One of the reasons for my fear and anxiety was because I had a lot going on with everything happening with Mum. I, understandably, wasn’t sure if it was the right time to get into a relationship. 

But Shem was very patient and understanding of this. We decided to do regular check-ins to determine our feelings around the relationship. In January 2023, we officially became ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. 

As Christians, we both felt that you date to marry. If you don’t want to marry the other person then it’s best to let them know ASAP to not waste each other’s time. Shem was always very forthright about this, and it often meant a direct line of questioning. On our second date, we were discussing marital roles and how we envisage the future. 

By April 2023, the conversations around marriage turned into conversations around our marriage and what that could look like. On 29th May 2023, Shem proposed at Kelston Roundhill, as the sun went down. 

Finally, we needed to decide on a wedding date – this came with a lot of difficulties, which I’ll talk about another time. We wanted Mum to be at the wedding but her health was rapidly deteriorating. We decided on 23rd September 2023 – sadly Mum died before this time. 

But God had answered my prayer. Amongst the sorrow and grief of losing my only parent, God had provided me with a new family, a fresh start, and a brighter future to look forward to. 

God has taught me so much through my relationship with Shem, and I’m really excited to share with you all. He has been so gracious in offering me a life partner that has helped me through the last few months since Mum passed away. And thank you also to Shem, for your love, support and ongoing patience.

There is so much more that I could say around this so I think I’m going to have to break this love story down – keep an eye out for more posts around this.

“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfils the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” (Psalm 145:18-19)