Can anyone talk to God? Understanding prayer and repentance

Published on 16th Sep 202413th Sep 2024 by Poppy FairLeave a comment

Have you ever wondered if God hears your prayers?

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve been thinking about prayer. So far we’ve taken a deeper look at this timeless practice and established that prayer is more than a list of requests, it’s an intimate conversation with God. We’ve also thought about how to approach praying – using the Lord’s prayer as a template.

It’s been wonderful reflecting on the intimacy that we can have with God in prayer, and it’s been important to remember that we pray through Jesus to a God who deserves reverence.

But from research that I’ve carried out, one of the most common questions around prayer is ‘can anyone talk to God?’

So, let’s explore this tricky but crucial topic. It includes thinking about the God that we are praying to and a word called ‘repentance’.

Repentance…

What comes to mind when you think of this word?

You may be all too familiar with it, and be practicing it daily.

You may think you know the meaning of repentance because it’s a word that’s thrown around a lot at church but when you look at your life, you struggle to see where this word practically comes into play.

And finally, you may have no idea what this word is – or just think it’s one of those mumbo-jumbo words that you hear religious people talking about.

Wherever you stand on the understanding of this word, please do stay tuned because it’s a pivotal part of prayer, and something that’s helpful for us all to be reminded of.

What is repentance?

In it’s simplest form, repentance purely means acknowledging wrongdoing and actively turning away from it.

It’s crucial to remember that God doesn’t expect perfection, but a sincere heart that seeks Him and desires change. Repentance is not about shame, but about transformation through God’s grace.

It means recognising that the way I’ve been living, or something I’ve done, is a grievance to God, so confessing this to God and then repositioning my heart and mind towards Him.

The turning away from the wrongdoing is a really important part. Before truly becoming a Christian, I would pray to God. I would say sorry for something, acknowledge a wrongdoing… but then go and do the same thing again and again!

I thought I was repenting but I now see that really I was just making empty promises because my heart wasn’t truly in it.

I will take a deeper look into repentance at a later date but for now I want to highlight it’s importance in regards to prayer.

So why do we need repentance to pray?

The first thing to establish is that we’re praying to a God who is holy and wants to have a relationship with His creation (us). However, our natural state of being is shutting God out, and being the rulers of our own lives.

God isn’t looking for distant, religious rituals; He wants to be close to us. And repentance is about restoring that closeness when we’ve drifted away.

The second thing of note is that God is morally pure so prayer and a relationship with Him requires a heart pointing in the same direction. The darkness and evil of this world grieves God, so if we are looking towards that, He cannot have a relationship with us.

There are a few Bible verses that highlight this:

“Whoever shuts their ears to the cry of the poor will also cry out and not be answered.” (Proverbs 21:13)

“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” (Psalms 66:18)

“When you spread out your hands in prayer, I hide my eyes from you; even when you offer many prayers, I am not listening. Your hands are full of blood!” (Isaiah 1:15)

These verses show that God cares about the states of our hearts, and the need for repentance become more understandable. It is a privilege to have a relationship with God and for Him to hear our prayers. Why would He listen to us if we are purposely doing things that grieve Him?

Just like King Charles wouldn’t want to be friends with someone plotting treason, God desires a relationship with those who genuinely seek His will, not those intentionally turning their backs on Him.

So that this post isn’t too long for you, feel free to click on the option below that’s the most relevant to you. Or, if your interest is piqued, read both parts – they’re helpful to think about no matter your spiritual positioning!

What does repentance look like for someone exploring faith?

Seeking a relationship

Essentially when you’re first exploring faith and looking to seek a relationship with God, the greatest thing to ‘repent’ of is having rejected God up until this point.

We are born into a natural state of putting ourselves first. Even if you grew up in a Christian home and believe in God, by following your own way rather than His, you are still rejecting Him. Relationship with God isn’t about belief, it’s about aligning your mind and heart towards Him.

If you relate this to the relationships we have with people in our every day lives – just because you’re aware of someone’s existence, it doesn’t mean you automatically have a relationship with that person.

And as the Creator of this whole world and everything in it, God has a certain standard required in order to have a relationship with Him. But as humans, we can’t meet His morally pure standards…

And this is where Jesus comes in

Before Jesus, people had to follow specific rituals and sacrifices to connect with God. But when Jesus came to this earth as fully man and fully God and died on the cross, He became the ultimate sacrifice.

This means that rather than following the old age Jewish rituals and sacrifices, we can now have a relationship with God through Jesus’ sacrifice (which is why Christians go on about Jesus so much – He’s kind of the centre to it all).

Because of Jesus, we don’t have to be perfect to approach God in prayer. His grace covers our imperfection, and repentance allows us to draw nearer, acknowledging where we’ve fallen short and seeking His guidance to do better.

This means we can now approach God in prayer, confident that He hears us. But first, we need to acknowledge our need for Him and turn our hearts toward His will.

So! Initial repentance looks like…

Recognising that there is a perfect God that created us and wants a relationship with us. That we can not meet His level of perfection. That we’re sorry for having rejected God thus far and that in order to have a relationship with God, we recognise Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

It’s inviting Him to come into your heart and life so that we can turn away from the things that grieve God, and turn towards His goodness and light.

If you’re new to exploring faith, take a moment to reflect: are there areas in your life where you’ve been pushing God away? Inviting Him in starts with repentance and an openness to the change He offers.

Now that we’ve explored what repentance looks like for someone who’s just starting their journey with God, let’s shift to what this means for those of us who already have a relationship with Jesus.

What does repentance look like for a Christian?

Repentance isn’t a one-stop wonder

It’s not something that you do and then suddenly you’re living a perfect life, never upsetting God.

I think this is a very important thing to hold on to because it should humble us, and make us think twice before judging others.

The wonderful thing about becoming a Christian is that as you grow, you learn more and more about God, and you learn more and more about yourself too.

Going against God comes in all shapes and sizes. But it’s not a list of dos and don’ts, it’s a positioning of the heart.

Plus, each time we repent, we’re reminded of God’s incredible grace – that no matter how many times we stumble, His arms are always open to receive us again. Repentance is a daily opportunity to realign with God and live more fully in His love.

Recognising the position of my heart

Whenever I need help in recognising where my heart lies, I turn to Galatians 5. This section of the Bible offers a wonderful contrast between the fruits of our human state:

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” (Verses 19-21)

And the fruits of knowing God:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Verses 22-23)

So, if I’ve had an altercation with my husband, I can ask myself did I respond with hatred, selfish ambition, and a fit of rage? Or did I respond with love, kindness and gentleness.

If my response is the former, it’s likely that I have a reason to repent because I not only upset my husband but I also upset God.

Other times, the grievances I cause are much bigger than a spat with my spouse. Sometimes I can fall into a much greater sin.

But big or small, sin is sin. If we’ve grieved others or God, then there’s a need to say sorry. And because of the grace of God, we can freely do this.

Knowing that I will be forgiven, because that’s what’s promised, brings so much freedom. It means that I don’t need to harbour guilt and shame!

A prayer of repentance from the Bible

Psalm 51 offers such a beautiful prayer of repentance and they’re words that we can use and take to God as a prayer for ourselves:

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.” (Verses 1-4)

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Verses 10-12)

“Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Saviour, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.” (Verses 14-15)

The language of this Psalm is very poetic but it highlights God’s mercy and forgiveness; that when we do wrong – even when we’ve hurt other people – we’ve sinned against God; and asks for a renewal of spirit and restoration of joy. These are things that we can be praying for each day!

So, as you grow in your relationship with Jesus, take time to reflect: are there areas in your life where you’ve drifted away from God?

As we come to the end of this exploration, I hope you’ve gained a deeper understanding of how repentance is inseparable from our prayer life.

Without repentance, we’re holding on to things that block our connection with God. It’s like trying to have a conversation while something stands in the way. But repentance clears that barrier and brings us back into open, honest communication with Him.

Whether you’re just beginning to seek God or have been walking with Him for years, repentance isn’t something to shy away from – it’s a gift that brings us closer to God, time and time again.

Through Jesus, we are invited into an ongoing relationship where grace abounds, even when we fall short. Repentance opens the door to that grace, helping us realign our hearts with God’s will and embrace the transformation He desires for us.

So, as you move forward, I encourage you to take time to reflect and pray. Whether you’re acknowledging areas where you’ve drifted or seeking to deepen your intimacy with God, know that He is always ready to listen and eager to restore. Remember the words of Psalm 51 and the promise that when we come to Him with a sincere heart, He is faithful to forgive and renew us.

May your journey in prayer continue to be one of growth, honesty, and grace – knowing that each time you repent, you draw nearer to the One who loves you more than you can imagine.

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” (John 14:6)

How do I approach praying? A simple guide for more meaningful prayer

Published on 9th Sep 202413th Sep 2024 by Poppy Fair2 Comments

In my last post, we took a deeper look at the timeless practice of prayer and recognised that it is an intimate conversation with God.

This conversation is central to the relationship we can have with Him, and when viewed this way, prayer becomes a wonderful means of deepening that relationship, and helps us know how to approach God.

Approaching prayer

Let’s think about this in terms of the relationships we have with people in our every day life…

If you don’t know someone very well, you may start a conversation with them by introducing yourself, explaining why you’re speaking to them, and ask them who they are too.

In the same way, if you feel like you don’t really know God, you may start off with more simple prayers, that could look like:

“Hello God, I’m sorry I’ve not lived my life in a way that recognises you but I’d like to get to know you better. Things have been really hard in my life recently, and I could do with some hope. I recognise that you are a giver of hope and would like to get to know you more. Please will you show me more of who you are. Help me to get to know you better through the Bible and other people.”

However, if you now go to the other side of the relationships spectrum and think about someone that you know really well, what would a conversation look like with them?

You would recognise them for who they are in your life – perhaps a spouse or close friend. It would likely be much deeper than your usual conversation. Perhaps you would share with them things you wouldn’t usually share with others, or admit to things that you wouldn’t tell just anyone. You may ask them to help you in different areas of your life.

For those that know God more intimately, your conversation with Him would mirror the intimacy of someone you know well – and so would the regularity of speaking to Him.

Wherever you are on this spectrum of relationship with God, approaching God in prayer can be as simple or as deep as your relationship with Him – and the goal is always to grow closer.

Do we have to pray in a certain way?

There are lots of different types, reasons and circumstances for prayer. I pray constantly throughout the day. I pray for the small things, I pray for the big things. I pray for help in every day situations, and even pray for random people that I pass on the street.

However, it’s important to not just be doing these kinds of prayers. I love that I can constantly turn to God in prayer, and that He is with me throughout each day, wherever I am. But I also need to recognise Him as an Almighty God that deserves a level of reverence, worship and awe.

It’s good for us to reflect on our lives in relation to God and the way that He calls us to live. It’s important to be on guard against temptation and where we feel weak, and ask for safe-keeping from this. It’s a privilege to be able to ask for comfort in situations we’re scared of, and to be able to pray for the wellbeing of the people that we love.

Maintaining reverence reminds us of God’s majesty while recognising His constant presence in our everyday life fosters intimacy.

A great example of prayer

For longer form prayers, it can sometimes be a struggle to know where to start – there can be so much to prayer for!

In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus taught us how to pray. You may be familiar with this prayer – it’s known as the Lord’s Prayer.

I find this prayer a wonderful template for my everyday, longer prayers. It can be taken and applied to each of our lives.

Recognising who you’re praying to

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:9-10)

I think it’s important to start prayers off by recognising and submitting to the God that you are praying to. It’s also just respectful to speak to someone in a way where you recognise their importance in your life (similar to speaking to your grandmother, for example).

What’s more, God has many attributes that can speak into different areas of our lives and remembering these can be helpful to shape the rest of your prayer. For example…

If I’m feeling scared I may start a prayer off with, “Lord, I know that you are my refuge and fortress”.

When I am thankful I might begin with, “God you are the great Provider and Creator of this world”.

Or when anxious, I may remember God’s character in saying, “Lord you are King of Kings and ruler of this world, I recognise that my times are in your hands and I can trust you.”

“…Your kingdom come, Your will be done…” is also a helpful reminder to have as you enter into prayer, especially if you’re asking for things.

Just because we’re asking God for something, it doesn’t mean He has to grant it. Sometimes what we ask for may not be in our best interest.

This can be discouraging, but we can trust God’s judgement in this – just as we would trust our parents’ judgement when growing up. Plus, trusting God in the unknown is part of growing in faith.

Daily provisions

“Give us this day our daily bread.” (Matthew 6:11)

This short verse holds a lot of meaning and it can be viewed in two different ways:

a. Recognition of provision

When praying this section, I stop to be thankful for all that God has provided for me. Whether that’s the basics of food, water, shelter, or the blessings of luxuries in my life.

b. A need for Jesus and His wisdom

In John 6:35, Jesus declared:

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

When Jesus says this, He is speaking in spiritual terms. Each day we need wisdom to overcome the challenges this life throws at us. He offers His presence to comfort and support us when we are feeling scared, and guidance for when we are feeling lost.

And just to say, the best way to receive this “daily bread” is by reading the Bible daily – as this is where we can hear His wisdom, comfort and guidance.

Forgiveness

“And forgive us our debts [sins], as we forgive our debtors [those who have sinned against us].” (Matthew 6:12)

Again, this verse is loaded with a lot of helpful things. First of all, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on where we have sinned (also known as upsetting God, or going against His will for us).

It’s easy to brush past this and use a very generic statement, such as ‘forgive me for sinning’ or ‘I’m sorry for going against your will’.

I find it helpful to stop and really reflect and be specific here. What have I done that day to upset God? Did I speak to someone unkindly? Did I gossip about others? Did I feel resentment towards a work colleague?

And the second half of the verse reminds us that because we are forgiven, we too should forgive others. It also challenges us to think about where we may not have forgiven someone, and offers an opportunity to ask for help in doing this.

Protection

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” (Matthew 6:13)

This is a great privilege of prayer. We all have things that we struggle with or are tempted by. Jesus taught us to ask for help in this.

We are not perfect beings, and when we rely on ourselves to overcome our challenges, we’re probably going to fail.

It also touches on the spiritual battle of life. There is an evil one who seeks to tempt us into turning away from God. He wants us to reject God and follow our weaknesses. But Jesus invites us to pray for protection against this.

As we thought about last week, prayer is more than a ritual or a list of requests – it’s a living, intimate conversation with God.

No matter where you are in your journey with Him. Whether you’re approaching Him with simple prayers or engaging in deeper, more personal conversations, each moment spent in prayer brings you closer to understanding His heart.

As we follow the example Jesus gave us in the Lord’s Prayer, we are reminded to come to God with reverence, gratitude, and trust in His will for our lives.

So, wherever you find yourself today – whether you’re struggling to find the right words or confidently pouring out your heart – know that God is listening. He desires a deeper relationship with you, and prayer is the key to growing in that relationship.

Take a moment to reflect on your own prayer life. How might you grow in intimacy with God through more intentional, heartfelt conversations with Him? Start where you are, and trust that He is ready to meet you.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

What is Prayer? A deeper look at a timeless practice

Published on 3rd Sep 202412th Sep 2024 by Poppy Fair4 Comments

Prayer is a universal practice, deeply rooted in cultures and religions across the globe. But what does it truly mean to pray?

This month I’m going to do a focus on prayer. I’ll be looking at what Christian prayer is, different ways to pray, and examples of prayer in the Bible.

But before we dive in, let me ask you: do you ever pray? Maybe you find yourself praying when you’re scared or in trouble. Or perhaps you’re a practicing Christian, and prayer is a regular part of your day.

Or maybe the only time you’ve ever prayed was during a school assembly or at a wedding or funeral.

It’s something that’s been in our lives one way or another.

Now, let’s think a little bit about what prayer actually is.

What is prayer?

If you Google “definition of prayer”, the following result comes up:

“a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or another deity.”

I think this definition is just the tip of the iceberg.

One thing that prayer definitely is not is a list of demands. I’ve known many people, some that would call themselves Christian, that seem to approach prayer as a list of requests from God.

I would also argue that prayer is not a religious ritual. It may be something that’s often done in religious settings but I believe that true prayer comes from the heart.

In a nutshell, prayer is an intimate conversation with God. It’s a central part of the relationship that we can have with Him.

Viewing prayer through this lens helps us understand how to approach it. Each of us are at a different stage of relationship with God, and so this means that we might not all approach praying at the same level – something that will be explored in my next post on how to approach praying.

Now that we’ve considered what prayer is, let’s explore some of the benefits of prayer…

Why should I pray?

Mental health benefits

Something that’s always struck me is how much the secular world takes bits of praying and recommends it to help with mental health.

Gratitude journals are a prime example of this. It is good for us to be grateful, to recognise the good in our life, this is an integral part of prayer too. But who are we being grateful to in gratitude journals?

Prayer also provides opportunities to be still and reflective. We live in such a fast-paced world filled with distractions and noise. It is good for our souls, and mental health, to be still and reflect.

I love that prayer gives us a direction for our inner most thoughts, and gives us someone to be thankful to.

Having a friend to take your troubles to

Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes things happen that are completely out of our control and there’s nothing we can do about it. Sometimes people hurt you and you don’t know what to say or do to make things better.

To know that I can relinquish the control I try to have over my life to God, and trust that He wants to do good in a difficult situation brings me so much peace, and hope.

This was particularly prevalent when Mum was unwell. So often it felt like everything was whirring out of control and I was scared during such uncertainty. Prayer, and my relationship with God, were an anchor during these times.

On the flip side of the coin, sometimes there are things that I think or feel that I struggle to admit to other people. But I’m able to take these things to God through prayer. I’m able to seek forgiveness for these things and pray for help against them.

The wonderful thing about God is that for how mighty and holy He is, He is also a friend who wants us to bring both the big and small things to Him through intimate conversation in prayer.

Relationship with your Creator

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, let’s just say for arguments sake that there is a God, that you were created by a higher power that is bigger and better than anything you could ever imagine in this world.

Now, imagine that awesome, mighty Creator wants to have a relationship with you. That He loves and cares for you, and wants to hear about your life – this can be done through prayer, what a gift!

For those that know God and follow Him, prayer is the avenue for you to get to know God even more. But more than that, if you love someone, you spend time with them. Prayer and reading the Bible are ways to spend time with God.

If you had a relationship with a friend, and they barely spoke to you and only ever asked you for things when they did speak to you – you wouldn’t feel very loved by that friend would you? Well it’s exactly the same for your relationship with God.

What can I pray for?

One of my favourite Bible verses is Philippians 4:6:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

In this verse it states that we can pray in every situation – how beautiful is that?! There’s nothing that we bring to God that He dismisses because He thinks it’s too small.

There have been so many times that I’ve lost something and am searching around my living room looking for it, and just before I really start to get irate, I pray and ask God to help me find it. Within a couple of minutes it’s found – it’s astounding.

This may seem like a silly example, but it’s times like that that I’m reminded that God really does hear my prayers, and He cares about all things. He is my heavenly Father that takes joy in me bringing these things to Him.

But there are some other important bits to recognise in Philippians 4:6. We bring our petitions to God with thanksgiving. As I said earlier, a prayer is not a list of demands.

Before we come to God with requests, it’s important to remember who He is in the situation, which helps us not to be anxious, and to recognise all the good He has already given you with thanksgiving.

Praying through Jesus

Do you know why we can come to God whenever we want with the big and the small? Well, the clue is in the subheading – because of Jesus.

Before Jesus, people had to follow specific rituals and sacrifices to connect with God. But because of Jesus’ sacrifice, we can now speak directly to God anytime, anywhere.

This is really important to remember when praying, and Jesus gave some direction on this too in John 16:23-24:

“Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

As we’ve explored, prayer is more than just a ritual or a list of requests—it’s a profound, intimate conversation with God. Whether you’re seeking comfort in difficult times, expressing gratitude, or simply desiring to connect with your Creator, prayer offers a way to bring your deepest thoughts and emotions to someone who truly cares.

I encourage you to reflect on your own experiences with prayer. Whether you’re new to it or have been praying for years, there’s always an opportunity to grow deeper in your relationship with God.

Take time this week to be still, to listen, and to speak to God from your heart. Perhaps consider setting aside a few minutes each day to pray or reflect. What do you want to share with God today? You might be surprised at the peace, guidance, and joy that can come from this simple yet powerful practice.

And as we continue this series on prayer, I hope you’ll join me in exploring new ways to connect with God through prayer, learning together how prayer can be a vibrant part of our daily lives.

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:12

Choosing a Life Partner: From dating to marriage in just 10 months

Published on 28th Jul 20242nd Aug 2024 by Poppy FairLeave a comment

Shem and I started dating in November 2022. On 23rd September 2023, we got married. In just ten months, we chose each other as life partners.

This was quite an unexpected turn of events for me. Before becoming a Christian, I had other relationships and I never would have thought about moving things so quickly.

But I’m just going to go ahead and say it – Christians date to marry.

It’s something I’ve found quite refreshing actually. Starting a relationship with clear intentions minimised anxiety, uncertainty and stress.

It meant that we had very frank and honest conversations, right from the start. Whilst I think this is partly due to our unique personalities, I believe it’s quite common for Christians to approach dating in this same way.

However, not all Christians get married so quickly so I thought I’d share a little bit about the thinking behind the journey that Shem and I took together from dating to marriage, and the way that God helped us shape our decision making.

You can find a more detailed timeline of our relationship in the first series of this ‘life partner saga’: finding a life partner.

Deciding in turbulence

Starting a new relationship shortly after finding out your mum has Stage 4 breast cancer is quite a bold move. My life at the time was very turbulent. We didn’t know how long Mum had left to live and I was travelling between Bath and North Devon regularly.

The uncertainty of dealing with this understandably had an interesting impact on my emotions. Beginning a relationship with someone can come with enough challenges as it is, let alone under these circumstances. But I think it was something that God graciously used to strengthen our relationship.

A lot of relationships start with a ‘honeymoon’ period. This is the term that people use to describe the ‘puppy love’ that people experience when first dating. Everything seems new and exciting, and it feels like you’re on some sort of high.

This was not the case for Shem and me. Because of mum’s situation, Shem and I experienced learning to navigate real-life hardships right from the start.

It meant that we had to communicate well, and I very quickly learnt what a supportive and caring person he is. We also quickly discovered how each of us responds when faced with difficult situations.

Learning together

Being Christian really helped us navigate these challenges. It was so wonderful to have someone by my side that also trusted in God, and was able to encourage and remind me of His promises on the tough days.

We started reading the Bible together very soon into dating, and this was something that had an amazing impact on our relationship. The Bible is full of wisdom and talks so well into real-life situations.

By reading the Bible with someone, you both reflect on and discuss what you’ve read so it meant that we were having fruitful and open conversations with one another – helping us to get to know each other in a very honest way.

Plus, and this is a bit of a funny one, when we started talking about getting married, someone from church recommended we read a marriage book. We started readingMarriage Matters by Winston Smith, which was very insightful. It reminded us that marriage is about the every day moments, and that when we approach them with a Christ-like attitude, these ordinary moments can extraordinarily show us God’s love.

I think the best part about all of this reading was that we were being intentional in our conversations. We both put in the effort to learn how to love each other well, knowing that the best way to do this was by learning more about Jesus’ love for us together.

Sex (or lack of it) before marriage

I know that this topic seems ludicrous to most people nowadays but yes, Shem and I chose to wait until we were married to have sex.

Sex is a beautiful and enjoyable gift that God has given us. But Shem and I both believe that it’s something that God created for marriage, and so we waited.

I think not having sex until marriage was, although difficult at times, a really wonderful decision. It allowed us to get to know each other in a non-physically intimate way.

During the time we spent together, we focused on understanding each other’s personalities and didn’t get blind-sided by the desires that stem from physical intimacy. I could relax, knowing that Shem wouldn’t pressure me into having sex before I was ready – a feeling I’d been all too familiar with before becoming a Christian.

It’s a very controversial choice in today’s culture but it was a really beautiful thing to do.

Getting to know one another, in a really detailed way

One practical approach that greatly helped us was creating a list of topics to discuss. This was Shem’s bright idea (he loves making lists), and it also provided us with something meaningful to talk about on our dates.

The topics ranged from practical living to Christian ideologies and included:

Life / career ambitions
Political view points
Church etiquette
Consumerism / spending money
Starting a family and if / how many children we’d like
Make up / beauty
Marital roles
Tithing / giving money to charity
Medical treatments
Parenting styles
Money and banking as a married couple

The key to these discussions was not necessarily agreeing on everything but understanding each other better through them.

Talking about money, for instance, has proved very useful as we start our marriage. Finances can often cause arguments in couples, so it was great to get used to talking freely about it early on.

Praying together

Prayer has been, and continues to be, an essential part of our relationship. After every significant conversation, we make it a point to finish with a prayer. This practice helps us incorporate God into our relationship and the decisions we make.

Also, with everything going on in my life whilst Shem and I were dating, he was praying for me constantly – it felt like I had a little prayer warrior by my side. This was especially helpful when we faced challenges.

When we don’t pray around conversations, it’s much easier to get caught up in emotional responses. Prayer enables us to discuss something, and then give it to God and trust that He is working in the situation.

In summary

Choosing a life partner is an important decision. For Shem and me, our journey was guided by faith and intentionality. Here are my key takeaways:

Clear intentions: Starting with clear goals minimised anxiety and stress.
Honest communication: Open conversations helped us understand and support each other.
Faith as a foundation: Prayer and Bible reading deepened our bond and provided wisdom around decision making.
Waiting for marriage: Our decision to wait for sex taught us patience and respect.
Practical discussions: Talking about important topics early on aligned our goals and expectations.
Continuous prayer: Prayer helped us navigate challenges and trust in God’s guidance.

I hope our story shows that faith, open communication, and intentionality can really help in choosing a life partner. It’s been such a blessing to be able to trust God through it all, and I’m so grateful to have Shem by my side, knowing that we will now be facing life’s challenges together.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

The author is pictured with her husband on their wedding day. There are sparklers and people surrounding them.

Overcoming the anxiety of decision making: Practical tips and Biblical advice

Published on 21st Jul 20242nd Aug 2024 by Poppy FairLeave a comment

Making decisions. It’s something we all have to do. Some of us are better at it than others.

I am not very good at making decisions, I actually find them rather stressful. My brain seems to ruminate and go over all of the different options again and again. I want to say yes to everything but also don’t want to say yes to anything because I never know what’s around the corner.

When I speak to Christian loved ones about it, their answers are often the same: Trust God and pray about it. Although this is a true statement, I don’t always find it the most helpful. I trust God completely, He’s taken me this far! But it doesn’t change the fact that I actually need to decide on an outcome and which path to take.

So, as always, I thought I’d write about it.

Decision making schools of thought

Everyone addresses decisions differently, some people like pros and cons lists, others follow their instincts, some people just procrastinate until the very final moment.

UMass Dartmouth has put together a helpful, rather straight forward document on decision making. They suggest seven simple steps:

Identify the decision
Gather information
Identify alternatives
Weigh the evidence
Choose among alternatives
Take action
Review you decision

This is great advice if you aren’t very emotions-based, or if the circumstances accommodate the decision being this straight forward. But for those that need a little more thought, Indeed has put together 12 more tender tips for making decisions:

Try not to overthink
Take care of yourself
Remove yourself from the situation
Don’t shy away from your mistakes
Examine the opposite of your decision
Ask for feedback
Give yourself advice
Manage your emotions
Weigh short and long term consequences
Accept the possibility of making a poor decision
Stay true to your values
Use data

I think a balance between these two lists could be helpful. The first one is very practical, and the second one seems to fill in the gaps of the emotions flying around decision-making. However, I think there’s more to it…

Understanding the difficulty in my decision making

I think the key issue I have in decision making is control. Between having a rather chaotic childhood and now having hard some real hardships in adult life, I am fearful of the unknown because I want to always be prepared for what could come next.

Making a decision is stepping into an unknown and a new environment, which can make me feel anxious that I won’t be in control of a new circumstance if bad news were to arise.

Another issue I have is that when I don’t know what’s coming next and have too much time on my hands, I seem to get more anxious about every day situations and stress over small things.

I’ve had a very intense couple of years and I know that I am in need of time off, but I seem to be spending my time off obsessing over what I should be doing next, rather than being in the moment and enjoying the gift of rest.

Given the difficulty and stress that I faced last year, and then jumping into a very demanding job, it’s understandable to feel this way – but it doesn’t mean it is right.

I think identifying the issues of why I’m struggling with decision making, offers me a good ground to understand what God may be trying to teach me in these circumstances.

A bit of Biblical application

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

First of all, talking into the control that I struggle with, the verse above is a very helpful reminder. I need to remember that I can’t control everything that happens in life, but I can trust that God knows what will happen and that when I trust in Him, He works all things for my good.

And He has done this again and again in my life so far!

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)

This verse reminds me to be still in knowing who God is and that He is the one in control. It is good to wait patiently on Him, trusting that He will guide me to where I need to be.

A quote that I keep coming across on Instagram at the moment is, “Whilst you’re waiting for God to open your next door, praise Him in the hallway.” This may be a little cheesy, but perhaps it’s something I need to try to be better at.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:2-3)

This little snippet actually reminds me of two truths:

The ‘quiet waters’ of rest that we are given refreshes my soul. I should enjoy the opportunity of rest that I’m in now.
God will guide me ‘along the right paths’. I might not know how or when this will happen, but I can trust that it’s a promise that He makes.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26)

This verse is a beautiful reminder that God knows and cares for all of the animals on this earth, and He loves me even more than that.

By trusting and following God, I have a relationship with the Creator that feeds the birds so I know that I do not need to worry about tomorrow because His grace is sufficient for this life, and the one that is to come!

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15)

This verse is the anchor to all my decision making. I believe that my purpose in life is to try to be servant hearted to those around me, and imitate the way that Jesus lived whilst on this earth. When making a decision, the question I should always ask is, “Does this glorify God?”

In summary

Writing this has been helpful. The Bible passages highlighted seem to really point to being still and taking joy in this opportunity to refresh my soul.

I’m so grateful to know God and to be able to relinquish the control that I seek to Him because trying to control and know everything only leads to more stress.

Often when I’m making a decision, I do keep in mind that God rules overall, so I try to make a decision at a cross roads that will put me in line with His path for me.

Although I recognise God’s supremacy, this way of thinking still tries to put a lot of control in my hands.

A gentleman at church once said to me that we often do this but we have it all backwards. Really what God teaches is that we should make a wisdom-based decision but step out in faith, knowing that God is with us in whatever path we take.

Our punitive decision making, isn’t going to effect God’s supremacy and overall plan. The decisions we make – whether they are right or wrong ones – are all part of His plan, and teach us more about Him along the way.

How do you handle decision-making? Share your thoughts in the poll below!

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

Picture of a sign post on the South West Coastal Path with the sea in the background. The picture signifies being at a cross roads of decision making.

Reflecting on an unexpected chapter

Published on 14th Jul 20242nd Aug 2024 by Poppy Fair1 Comment

You may be pleased to know that I’m coming to the end of my little politically themed writing stint. It was very helpful to stay on topic during such a busy six weeks at work and I hope that, for those that have kept up, a fresh insight into politics may have been provided.

But as my job as a campaign organiser is nearing an end now, I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on yet another interesting, unexpected chapter of this crazy old ride of my life.

God works in mysterious ways

If you were to tell me five years ago that I would be working in politics and caring about the results of a General Election, I would have thought you were joking. But it’s funny how things turn out, and sometimes God works in rather unexpected ways…

During the turbulence of the last couple of years, there were three months that were particularly full on. From July to September, I was planning my wedding with Shem; full-time caring for Mum; dealing with her passing away; planning Mum’s funeral; cleaning out Mum’s house; looking for somewhere to live (but I was unemployed and Shem was going into his final year of university); moving into a new flat; and then getting married.

I had been working at my church in the run up to this but that job was finishing. I needed to look for a new job but understandably didn’t have the head space to do this. One night in August, I was about to have a quick look on Indeed but beforehand I prayed:

“Lord, I need a job because we need to pay our rent and bills. But I’m tired and I have so much going on right now [Mum had died just a couple of weeks before], I just don’t have the energy. But I know, Lord, that you know where I’ll be, I know that you have a plan for me, so please will you clearly show me. Please make it really obvious where you want me to be.”

Given the particularly difficult circumstances, I found myself praying boldly and meaningfully for clear guidance, something I don’t often do.

So, I continued to look on Indeed, everything looked rather generic and nothing particularly great, so I went to sleep. The following morning I woke up to a message from the Parliamentary Candidate (now MP!) for the South Cotswolds Lib Dems saying that they’re looking for a campaign organiser and would I be able to do it. We hadn’t spoken for over a year, and I only knew her briefly when working on a project with her during my degree.

As I’ve mentioned before, politics has never been my thing. I always thought “same muppet, different puppet”, but after praying such a bold prayer and receiving such a random message, I thought I would find out a bit more information about her values and vision as an MP… long story short – I took the job!

**“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” Proverbs 16:3**

Shem and I got married on 23rd September 2023 and then went away for our honeymoon until early October. My plan for after this had been to potentially have a mini-breakdown after the craziness of the prior 3 months, spend some time processing Mum dying, and to then start a job in November.

But God had different plans. My new job wanted me to start ASAP so I ended up just having a week after the honeymoon to unpack my newly-moved-into flat before starting my new job as a campaign organiser.

It’s wonderful though because it’s times like this that I remember how well God knows me, He knows me better than I know myself. To have a new job and exciting experience like this is exactly what I needed. To be able to pick myself up and focus on something was a much better idea than wallowing.

However, I knew it was going to be difficult, and that I would need God’s help. Working in politics was a brand new territory for me and, especially as a Christian, this can be quite difficult. Before starting my new job I decided that I would endeavour to read my Bible each morning before work because it was essential that I had my armour of God on in this new, in-some-ways scary situation:

“Therefore put on the full armour of God… Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:13-17)

It’s amazing how these kinds of situations can bring you closer to God. Even though it’s been a very busy nine months, and the job has been quite demanding, my relationship with God has stayed at number one, and He’s taught me a lot along the way!

**“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3)**

January was really tough. I don’t do well with the winter in the darkness and gloominess. I was working too often and my long commute meant I was often driving in the dark, which only added to the tiredness.

But it was more than that. The end of January marked six months after Mum had died, and six months is a milestone where grief can really creep up on you.

I think I was also reeling a little bit from those crazy three months. My identity was feeling a little confusing. Losing your mum in many ways affects your identity. I think the fact that I don’t have a dad either left me feeling a little waif-like. Plus, although a happy occasion, getting married changes your identity too. Especially as a woman, I didn’t even hold my name anymore!

I think because of all of this, alongside working in a job that I never saw myself going into, I was feeling a little lost.

But tough times often mean that your body and mind are processing things – and that’s good, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. And I’m grateful for the people that God has put into my life that love and support me through such times.

Most importantly of all though, it’s helpful to remember when feeling such feelings of waysided-ness, that my true identity lies in Christ, and He did graciously remind me of this. It was off of the back of this difficult period that I decided to start writing this blog!

**“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (Psalm 118:1)**

I must say, this whole job has been an amazing experience, even with the long hours and high demand that it involves. I thought I’d share, even just for my own benefit to look back on, some of the wonderful opportunities this job has provided, and to recognise the goodness of the adventures that God has taken me on.

Working with hundreds of volunteers that care about and want to see a positive change in their communities.
Winning the General Election with a 5,000 majority, and the fourth highest turnout in Britain.
Learning about local politics and working alongside councillors that work hard for their local areas.
Working with and learning from Roz Savage, the new MP for the South Cotswolds. It’s been beautiful to see someone get into politics with such integrity and who really cares about her community, wanting to serve and represent the people within her constituency.
Zooming around Cotswolds Waterpark on an inflatable dingy with Ed Davey, Roz Savage, Councillor Joe Harris and fellow organiser, Isaac.
Being in such a demanding job and working such long hours could have been rather damaging for a first year of marriage but Shem’s support and love throughout this time has only strengthened us.
Being able to pray through the stress of the every day life of working in such a fast paced and hectic environment, the fruit of those prayers being shown in peace, joy and patience, and this being a testament to the people that I’ve been working with.
Getting to visit Parliament with Roz and Isaac on Friday was probably the cherry on the top of this whole experience. It was an honour to get a tour from Roz, and seeing where all of our hard work has got her!

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)

Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos: How to Cope with Stress

Published on 23rd Jun 20242nd Aug 2024 by Poppy FairLeave a comment

It’s been a tough four weeks. The General Election got called on 22nd May and, as I’m a political Campaign Organiser, this has had a very big impact on my life. I’ve been doing up to 15 hour days and 71 hour weeks.

Plus, amongst all of this, I went to Bulgaria for 9 days to clean out my Mum’s house. She passed away last July and this trip was organised before the General Election was called.

When the days are so long, and there’s so much to do, managing stress can feel like a difficult task.

Responding to stress

I think it’s probably rather obvious now where the source of my peace comes from. I’ve spoken a little bit on here about the turbulence of these last couple of years, and through it all I’ve clung on to Jesus and the peace that He offers:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

By holding on to this, I am helpfully reminded of who Jesus is, and how He calls me to live in response to this. When in the midst of trials, Jesus doesn’t want my heart to be troubled, He wants me to bear His fruit, and not my own.

What does this look like, you may ask?

Well Galatians 5 sheds a bit of light on this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Verses 22-23)

This is compared to a few verses earlier that describes our fruit, or “the acts of the flesh”:

“…sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” (Verses 19-21)

And as I write this, it’s so wonderful to reflect (as I usually do when I read this section of the Bible) on how far Jesus has brought me. Before becoming a Christian, my go-to for stress relief would be to smoke weed, go out drinking with friends, or selfishly/angrily moan to other people – all of which actually brought a bit of an empty feeling rather than stress relief.

Now, I’m far from perfect in how I respond to stress, but I’ve come a long way. However, becoming a Christian doesn’t magically fix things, and make everything easy.

When things go wrong at work, I naturally want to respond with anger.

When people let me down, I naturally want to gossip and moan about them.

When stress gets on top of me, I naturally want to turn to worldly pleasures.

In order to bear His fruit rather than my own, I need to be spending time with God regularly. The more time I spend with Him, the more He reveals Himself to me.

How do I spend time with God?

There are three main ways I spend time with God: reading the Bible, praying, and through worship.

By reading the Bible, I am installing God’s words of wisdom, hope and peace into my heart.

Through prayer, I am expressing the intimate relationship that I have with the Creator of this entire world, and taking my joys, sorrows and burdens to Him.

And in worship I am recognising how big God is, compared to how small I am. This can be done at church, where I hear teaching from the Bible and get to sing with my church family; or this can be done alone, by listening and singing along to songs written about God’s goodness and character.

I’ve noticed the difference when I stray away from these things. It’s so much harder to practise peace and self-control when I feel my temper rising. Having patience with that difficult person at work feels like much more of a challenge. And speaking to the people I love with gentleness often becomes short and snappy instead.

Furthermore, when life is stressful and there are way more triggers than usual, it’s especially important to spend time with God and think about the ‘fruit’ I’m bearing.

But when I’m working 15 hour days and it’s hard enough to find a moment to eat, let alone spend time with God – what do I do?

3 ways I bring God into my everyday:

𝟭. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗶m

Beginning the day by spending time with God gives me a head start. At the moment especially, before I have even begun reading my Bible, I start with a prayer thanking Him for the day – this reminds me that this day is His and whatever it throws at me, He is in control.

My Bible reading then reveals different attributes of God to me, and tells me tales of different people in history that have dealt with a lot more than I’m dealing with and how God has brought them through it all.

I then spend some time praying through the anxieties I have about the day, and reflecting on where I struggled to show His fruit the day before.

𝟮. 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆

I drive a lot in my job. When I first started working, I found this very frustrating. When stuck in a small moving box, not able to get through my huge to-do list, my stress levels would often rise.

However, I now see my long car journeys as an opportunity to listen to some worship music, sing along, and pray around different things. I now get to my destination feeling refreshed and renewed, rather than stressed and distracted.

𝟯. 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹

When I’m doing the mundane jobs at work, God is with me. When I’m facing a stressful work crisis, God is with me. When I’m having conversations with difficult people, God is with me. It’s such a comfort to remember this when everyday stresses occur, and it keeps me joyful during the more boring parts of the day.

It’s been a helpful reminder to think through this, and I’m grateful for all the wisdom I’m able to find in the Bible when dealing with the day-to-day of life.

How do you deal with stress? Do you have any tips for incorporating God into your day? Please do share your thoughts below, send me a message on Instagram, or email me on poppyreesevans@gmail.com.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

Large, wild daisies growing in a patch together. They remind the author of peace and this is what the blog post is about

‘Political homelessness’ and the perfect governance that is to come

Published on 17th Jun 20242nd Aug 2024 by Poppy FairLeave a comment

Since becoming a political Campaign Organiser in October, I have spoken to hundreds of people whilst canvassing, and so many are saying the same thing. They’re fed up. There’s a huge distrust of politicians and people have no idea who to vote for.

The Independent recently shared an article stating that “Britain is heading for the lowest general election turnout in modern history, pollsters have warned, with the main parties and their leaders leaving many voters ‘politically homeless’.”

I’d like to reflect a little on this…

A democratic country

Here in the UK, we’re supposed to be one of the more politically stable countries. We’ve had a consistent democratic system for a very long time, and currently have the freedom to express ourselves through protests and free speech.

The Freedom House has given the UK a “freedom score” of 93/100. This is in comparison to North Korea scoring 3, Russia scoring 13, and Nigeria scoring 44.

When we compare ourselves to other countries in the world, we have a pretty good system – yet, it still consists of corruption and lies.

Although we have the democratic right to vote and apparent political freedom, none of our national political leaders seem worthy to vote for. It feels as though there is something seriously wrong for this to be the case.

The root of the problem

Humanly speaking, there never has been and never will be a perfect government. Our world is too broken.

We fight for freedom, justice and equality, and yet too often human nature takes over and a good intention soon becomes a hunger for power. Society struggles to agree on an issue because we have pride, greed and envy. Even when we’re fighting for what we think is right, it often comes from a selfish cause.

Why is this?

Well, I believe that we have been created in God’s image – this is where our thirst for justice and righteousness comes from. We feel angry when we see corruption. We feel sorrow when we see poverty. We feel frustration when we see inequality. We feel these things because that is how God feels when He sees corruption, poverty and inequality.

However, humankind also adopted a sinful nature. This means that even when we have the best intentions, we often put ourselves first. God created humans to be equal and to worship Him as King, but we often steal His crown, reject His ways and put ourselves above others. God created the world with order and purpose but more and more often, we fight against it.

I think that this is the root to the disruption we find ourselves in. The more our society celebrates individualism and self, the more unrest and disagreement there seems to be – it spreads from our every day living all the way to the politicians sitting in Parliament.

And yet, there is hope

When I look around, I’m tempted to fall into despair. When everything seems such a mess, what can we do? The more we try to fix things as humans, the worse things seem to get.

But before I reach despair, I look to my Bible for the promises within.

The Bible gives an overview of all of time, and even looks forward to what is to come. At the end of the Bible, it points to a time when Jesus will return and reign forever:

“The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ, and He will reign forever and ever.” (Revelation 11:15)

But it doesn’t only talk about it at the end, this promise was also given 700 years before Jesus was even born! Isaiah describes what this promised reign will look like:

“He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from that time and forevermore.” (Isaiah 9:7)

This points to the perfect governance that we long for, one of justice and righteousness. But it is important to see that this governance lies in Jesus, it lies in being reunited with the image that we were created to mirror.

So really, what I’m trying to say is:

1) When all seems doom and gloom, and we feel anger and frustration at the political state of this country – that is understandable. There is something in all of us that feels the brokenness of this world and it is within our DNA to want better.

2) Recognise that it is a privilege to live in a country that allows us to vote and have political freedom. Research your local politicians and what they stand for. We need more politicians with integrity, and if those with integrity give up on voting, we’re only going to get more political corruption.

3) Most importantly of all, keep your eyes up and remember the reason why things feel broken. Work on having a relationship with the One that you were made to mirror, so that you too can look forward to the perfect governance that is to come.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” (John 14:6)

A bright orange sky thanks to a sunsetting over the sea. The picture signifies hope and the article talks about the hope that is to come in a perfect governance.