After Mum was diagnosed with cancer, she went through what I call a “full faith I’m going to be healed” phase. In all honesty, I found it really tough.

I’m not sure how familiar you are to Christianity but there are many schools of thought around this subject, and it can be a bit of a touchy one. So, I’m going to talk about what I experienced around God’s healing through Mum’s journey, and how I navigated my way through this tender topic.

Mum’s full faith that she’ll be healed…

For those of you keeping up with my writing, you’ll already know that my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2022 and chose to take the alternative route in treating it. Approaching cancer alternatively, involves looking at different avenues of cancer treatment, and often watching a lot of videos online.

My mum has always been a Christian (perhaps more on the lukewarm side of Christianity) and so during her cancer research she came across a lot of videos talking about God healing people’s cancer.

In choosing to treat her cancer naturally, Mum was already approaching her illness with faith. Trusting in God and recognising the world that He’s made, and many of its healing properties. However, the videos that she came across, to me, seemed like a different level of this.

In October 2022, Mum was watching a video about a woman that declared a date that God started healing her and then lived in “full faith” that she was going to be healed. Mum also started doing this.

Just to say, it sounds like the lady from the video has an amazing testimony and that God very graciously healed her. (Hallelujah).

However, it felt difficult Mum doing this. She started declaring that the 8th October was the day that God had started healing her. She said that she would live for many more years and would be able to see me get married and have children, and be a grandmother to them. She had “full faith” that she was going to be healed.

I really struggled with this. I, of course, wanted Mum to be healed, but I was already trying to wrap my head around the reality that she may not live to meet my future children or see me get married – so her saying that she would, felt very emotionally confusing.

She was also asking me to pray in “full faith” that she was going to be healed – and this is something that was difficult for me. I was scared that it could affect my own relationship with God if she didn’t get healed, and I also wanted to understand the biblical standing behind having “full faith” that God would do anything!

The Biblical premise of healing

In both the Old and New Testaments, the Bible is scattered with healing, and, of course, Jesus revealed Himself as God through miracles, many of which were healings. The Bible is clear, God can heal.

Jeremiah 33:6: “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

Isaiah 57:18-19: “I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners, creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace, to those far and near,’ says the Lord. ‘And I will heal them.’”

Mark 5:34: “He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’”

Mum, understandably, took a lot of comfort in verses like these. She was listening to similar ones on repeat through YouTube videos such as, ‘Powerful Healing Scriptures with Music‘. Her favourite verse to quote was Matthew 17:20, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Furthermore, when I was at a Bible study in Bath during this time, we were looking at James 5, which has the following verses: “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.”

My conclusion was that God can heal, and it’s right to pray for healing but I still struggled to do it in “full faith”.

Why was I sceptical?

I think my issue was just because God can heal, it doesn’t mean He will heal – otherwise there would be fewer Christians dying! And although the Bible talks a lot about healing, I don’t believe that it is something that God promises… in this life.

So I started looking into what the Bible does promise.

Many of the Bible verses around healing also include peace, restoration and forgiveness. Often, when the Bible talks about things, there is a physical and spiritual meaning. Although God can physically heal, and says we should pray for it, I believe He promises a spiritual healing of peace, rest and forgiveness to those who seek it.

Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

And in all honesty, I didn’t know where Mum was with this. Although she always knew who Jesus is, she didn’t necessarily live for Him. So I decided to pray for her spiritual healing too.

The rest that is to come…

Now, many of us are all too aware of the pain and suffering of this world. Where the Bible promises peace, we may ask ourselves will we ever really experience it? As soon as life feels good and peaceful, something happens to disrupt that and we once again face sorrow.

We live in a broken world. You just need to look around and see the war, hatred and craziness to confirm this truth. But Revelation 21 promises something better:

“Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away… And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”

I believe that when the Bible promises “abundant peace and security”, it is pointing to this new heaven and earth spoken about in Revelation 21 – the place where God dwells with His people.

This is a place of eternal healing – where there will be “no more death or mourning or crying or pain”. I think this is why the verses around healing often speak of forgiveness too, and why when Jesus was here, so many people were healed and “freed from suffering” because it was a small snippet of what was to come when He eternally dwells with His people.

So when I was praying for Mum’s physical healing, I knew that I needed to, more importantly, be praying for her spiritual healing. Because God could have healed her from her cancer, but death is inevitable. In order for her to receive the eternal healing promised in Revelation 21 – she needed to be at peace with God, one of His people.

A spiritual healing

I am delighted to say that I believe God granted this spiritual healing, and I think it was amazing how He did it.

The author's mother sat smiling in the sun thanks to the wonderful care at North Devon Hospice.

All the time that Mum was asking for physical healing, listening to Bible verses around this, and spending more time with Him in prayer – I think her faith was growing. She believed she needed to let go of emotional trauma and that in order to heal, she needed to be more forgiving. She started showing more signs of Jesus working in her life and in her general attitude and demeanour.

And when she lived her final week at North Devon Hospice, she had such a peace about her. Her smile was radiant, and she said that she was ready to go and be with Jesus.

I sometimes wonder if I should have been more faithful in prayer for her physical healing. But I am so thankful to God that He healed her spiritually. I’m thankful that, although I do miss her a lot, I can have peace because I believe she is now with Jesus. I’m thankful that I can have faith that when there is a new heaven and earth, Mum will be one of God’s people that He lives among.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

If you have any thoughts or would like to learn more about this topic, and what I mean when I say “to be at peace with God”, please do email me on poppyreesevans@gmail.com.

Here I am writing again, look at me go! I guess the tips from my last post have been somewhat effective. Something else that helped me schedule in time to write was starting to think about what I would write, which I found rather difficult at first. I have a lot to write about, but how to communicate it in an orderly fashion, that’s the challenge.

Well, as I mentioned before, my last year or so has been particularly eventful so I thought I’d start at the beginning of that – my mum’s cancer diagnosis. Some tough stuff to talk about but I think it’ll be good to reflect on it, and I pray that my experience can be helpful to others too. So here we go…

10th May 2022

Mum had a lump. It turns out she had had a lump for quite a while but due to the busy-ness of life, and the chaos of the ‘Covid years’, she didn’t go to get it checked. In the months of March – April 2022, Mum was changing career from co-ordinating expeditions up Kilimanjaro to training to be a taxi driver – quite the dramatic change. This seems irrelevant, I know, but this shift of career was more life changing than you can imagine. To become a taxi driver, there are all sorts of tests you need to do – including medical. During her full body examination, Mum’s lump was found.

A small reflection on this: God really does work in mysterious ways. What a random change of career – expedition co-ordinator to taxi driver. But if it wasn’t for the providence of this timing, who knows when Mum’s diagnosis would have come about.

So anyway, at this point all we knew was Mum had a lump on her left breast and it needed to be checked. On 10th May 2022, Mum had a confirmed breast cancer diagnosis that was “at least” at Stage 3 but we were waiting for further test results. These results later confirmed that Mum was HER2+, meaning that the cancer would grow more quickly. A month later, it was discovered that the cancer was at Stage 4 because it had spread to her lymph nodes on the right side.

Responding to a diagnosis

A diagnosis effects many people in many ways. As soon as there was any mention of cancer, I sought advice from online resources and found Macmillan’s “Supporting Someone” page particularly helpful – it really talks through the emotions of the person receiving a diagnosis, which is useful to understand if you want to support them well. Personally, I feel that I responded in the following ways:

Being there – My mum lived in North Devon and I live in Bath – sometimes being there didn’t mean physically. Even before a confirmed diagnosis, I phone and messaged Mum regularly. I wanted her to feel supported and seen. I travelled down on the day of her diagnosis, and then rather regularly as her journey transpired. It was important to me that Mum knew she wasn’t going through this alone.
Research – There’s a lot of terminology that comes alongside a diagnosis. This can be confusing. There is also a lot of information on the internet – plenty of which can be rather unhelpful, and cause more anxiety and fear than is needed. I did research terminology to gain a basic understanding, but I tried to not go down any rabbit holes of what symptoms and longer term prognosis looks like. I felt that the most important research I could do was practical stuff. How can I support Mum emotionally? What’s helpful and unhelpful to say? What are the likely emotions I will feel during this time, and how could I process these?
Faith and prayer – In moments of such uncertainty the only way I know how to respond is by praying – and when I say praying, I don’t mean praying that this bad thing will go away. I mean praying that God will give the strength to get through such a storm. Recognising through prayer that I know God sees past these current events, and He will carry me through to the other side. Praying that Mum will remember who God is and that He’ll be with her when everything feels dark and scary. To pray such things, had wondrous results. I had to keep reminding myself that death, pain and suffering is not the way that God wanted this world to be, and it pains Him as much as it pained me. This scary situation was an opportunity to draw closer to God, who wants to comfort and love me through such situations – what a hope to hold on to.
And finally, choosing love – This is going to be a recurring theme as I discuss Mum’s cancer journey because during this whole experience, I think I’ve learnt the many forms that choosing love can take. I also learnt that the best way to know how to love Mum and the people around me, was by remembering who Jesus is and how He chose to love me. To love well, you must take a real look at your own heart, where your intentions lie, and who you are doing things for. Sometimes choosing to love someone means saying the hardest truths, sometimes it means not saying anything. But overall, I knew that the best way I could love Mum during this devastating time, was by pointing her to Christ and the love that He has for her.

As I said above, a diagnosis affects many people in many ways. It’s tough news to receive and nobody responds perfectly. I’ve not written this to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do. I just want to reflect, process and share my story of how I responded during a pretty tough time.

I shared the below verses with Mum on the day of her diagnosis, and how true they remained throughout her cancer journey:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

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A picture of the author in graduation attire with her mother that has passed away, stood in from of Bath Abbey.

Tag: Mum

Does God heal?